Tuesday 4 November 2014

Life after the happy ending

Susanne opens up about her life after a very longed for baby finally arrived. Thank you Susanne!

So, what’s life like when you have longed for a baby for so long, have gone through so much heartache, so much pain. When your life was consumed for years by the longing for a baby.
What’s it like when you finally have what you wanted all this time? It’s not something I ever thought about before our daughter was born (you can ready my story here if you haven’t already).
And then there she was, and she was beautiful and it was amazing. And then - and I can’t remember when I first noticed something was not right – my husband changed. Finally, about 5 months after she was born, he was diagnosed with depression. He had been there for me all that time, had kept it together, stayed strong for me. It was as if once she was born, he knew I was ok and he fell apart. I won’t go into detail, but anyone who has experience of living with someone with depression knows it’s very hard. He went to get help and started his road to recovery.
At the same time he was diagnosed, I got an offer for a job. I’d always planned to leave my old job after I had my baby, and I was truly lucky with the opportunity I got. It was a strange time – on one hand, I would have loved to be able to stay at home (we couldn’t afford it), on the other hand, I was looking forward to getting back to work, simply to get out of the house.
So I started the new job and threw myself into it. After years of being consumed by the longing for a baby I felt I had been defined by everything that happened to us.  I felt I was simply “the girl who had 3 ectopics”, our story, our road to our happy ending was my only identity. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret being so public about our story, as so much good has come from it.
But starting a new job, with new people, who got to know me as ME, not as “my story” was so refreshing, it was so powerful. People didn’t look at me and think of me as the girl with 3 ectopics, they looked at me and saw someone who was great at her job. I did, of course over time share parts of what happened with my colleagues, but it wasn’t what defined me. Throw a bit of a social life with the colleagues into it, and that was what kept me going -  any new mother knows working full time (with all the guilt that comes with it) and having a baby at home is challenging. Throw a husband recovering from depression into the mix and you can imagine how difficult it was.
I absolutely adore our daughter, she’s 2.5 now, changing every day, and we have so much fun. I enjoy the time with her so much. I also enjoy my work, I’m good at it, and I feel there are opportunities for me I never thought I could have. It took me a long time to forgive myself for that – I spent so many years longing for a baby, I felt I should want to spend every single minute with her. I felt I had no right to complain when it was tough, so I kept going, tried to do it all myself.  Well, guess what – it catches up on you. You can only go for so long until you, or those close to you realise it’s getting too much.
When you are in the middle of your journey, and all you do is cling on to hope that it will happen for you, you don’t think about what happens afterwards. When you first find out you are finally pregnant, and everything is going as planned, you get more and more excited the closer your due date gets. You don’t think about what happens when the baby is born – you expect to be deliriously happy and for your life to be suddenly complete. And in a way, for a while it really was like that. But then normal life resumes, and for me  - for us -  that was a bit overwhelming. Finding your identity again - realising you are not just a mother, but also still a wife, a friend, an employee, an auntie etc etc – it can take time.
So now I make sure I have time to myself and I don’t feel guilty for enjoying my job with the odd night away. And I know I’m a better mother for it. Thankfully my husband has fully recovered too.

Life is good, and with any luck, in a year or two we might be in a position to see if one of our frozen embryos can grow into a little brother or sister for our daughter. Who knows what life will bring.

12 comments:


  1. An amazing testimony on a Native Iya Hindi root and herbs who help me to get pregnant, So me and my partner have been trying for a baby for the last 2 years now. I don’t have a regular cycle so it is hard for me to tell when I’m ovulating or not, but we always have sex at least 3 times a week, sometimes more. I know it can take up to a year to conceive but everyone i know who have had a baby have conceived within 2-3months of trying and it is really getting to me. my partner had a fertility test about a year ago and his sperm were fine. I’m thinking it could be a problem with me but I’ve never had any symptoms of any problems. My partner does smoke and have the occasional drink, and i used to smoke and also have the occasional drink. i know i’m slightly overweight but that shouldn’t affect our chances too much, one faithful day my friend told me to contact Native Iya Hindi that help her sister, then i contact the email. hindinative@yahoo.com,He sent the Herbs to me and gave instruction on method after three weeks the doctor confirm that i am pregnant thank you Native Iya Hindi for helping me get a baby, I am thankful for all he had done. contact him via email:(hindinative@yahoo.com .Or whats App number+19145295224), if you are trying to get a baby.

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  2. my name is Laura from australia,am using this means to say my thanks to Dr.ODIA for making it possible for me to be a mother today,i have been barren for more than 12years that became a story until i search for pregnancy tips on the internet then i came across a particular man who different people has been testifying about how he help a woman get her husband back,and how he help another man cured his autism son,and another with falopian tube and unable to concieve but now she has giving birth to twins, then i immediately contacted him on Odiaherbalcenter@yahoo.com. since he has been helping others who had infertility issues then mine will not be a hard issue,i told him my problem and that i have not giving birth for the past 12years, Dr,ODIA told me how much to buy the pregnancy herbal medication, and how to get the herbs which i did. After taking the herbs as instructed by him,two weeks later after meeting with my husband, i could feel some signs in my body so i had to see my doctor behold he told me i was pregnant,please help me say thanks to him and testify the same way i did by contacting him via email: Odiaherbalcenter@yahoo.com

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  3. Hello everyone am Elizabeth from USA i have been married to my husband for 7years without no issue. on this faithful day, i decided to check the internet for updates on healthy living and i came across a story of a man who Dr ODIA helped his wife to conceive a baby. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life. today i am a proud mom. words will not be enough to explain what this man did for me. his medicine for pregnancy really help me conceive i noticed i was pregnant, 2 weeks after using the root and herbs he send for me. i am a happy mother today, the pride of my family, a miracle in my town. i know there is someone in same condition and you feel there is no way. i urge you to contact him via email (odiaherbalcenter@yahoo.com) This is the solution to every single mother around the world he will surely make your dreams come through, and also give your own testimony.

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  4. Hello everyone am Elizabeth from USA i have been married to my husband for 7years without no issue. on this faithful day, i decided to check the internet for updates on healthy living and i came across a story of a man who Dr ODIA helped his wife to conceive a baby. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life. today i am a proud mom. words will not be enough to explain what this man did for me. his medicine for pregnancy really help me conceive i noticed i was pregnant, 2 weeks after using the root and herbs he send for me. i am a happy mother today, the pride of my family, a miracle in my town. i know there is someone in same condition and you feel there is no way. i urge you to contact him via email (odiaherbalcenter@yahoo.com) This is the solution to every single mother around the world he will surely make your dreams come through, and also give your own testimony.

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  5. ALL THANKS TO DR ODIA WITH HIS HERBAL ROOT AND HERBS AM COMPLETELY CURED FROM FIBROID
    I can’t believe this. A great testimony that i must share to all fibroid patient in the world. i never believed that their could be any complete cure for fibroid with out going for surgery ,i saw people’s testimony on internet on how Dr ODIA prepare herbal root and herbs that shrink there fibroid naturally. i had to try it too i contacted him on: odiaherbalcenter@yahoo.com. and him told me how to get his herbal medicine, and you can,t believe that in just few weeks i started using it all my pains stop gradually . Right now i want to tell you all that i just give birth to a baby boy last month,and on till now' i have not had any pain, and i just went for text last week and the doctor confirmed that there is no trace of any fibroid in my system. after 8 year of suffering from fibroid am now free, Glory be to God for leading me to this great Dr ODIA I am so happy as i am sharing this testimony. My advice to you all who thinks that their is no herbal cure for fibroid that is Not true ,just contact him and get cure his email odiaherbalcenter@yahoo.com and you will be free and free forever, Try it and you will not regret it because it truly works. i hope to see your testimony soon.

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  6. I want to use this opportunity to thank this great holy man called Priest Babaka for what he has done for me and my family. This great man has brought happiness and joy back again to me and my family. Priest Babaka has used his great power to help me bring back my husband within the period of 48 hours and also helped me in getting pregnant with his powerful prayers and after 7 days of applying his herbs.This is more than words can say, at first i didn't believe it but today it is so true and all thanks goes to him. i will advice every one out there that has a similar issue, and also any one who is willing to get his or her lover back and any one who wants to get pregnant quick to contact this wonderful man today and forever remain happy in life. email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com or Facebook at priestly.babaka

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  7. HOW I GOT MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF REAL AND EFFECTIVE SPELL FROM DR Osasu My name is Olivia Jayden, I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I'm not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Jesse who told me about a spell caster called Dr. Osasu , She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacted him and he assured me that within 48hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 48hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle,i couldn't conceive but as soon as the spell was cast,i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child,if you need any assistance from him you can contact him via:email: drosasu25@gmail.com Or WhatsApp or call him now:
    +2347064365391 . Dr.Osasu also cures: 1. HIV / AIDS 2. HERPES 1/2 3. CANCER 4. ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) 5. Hepatitis B

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  8. I come from a Pacific Island nation called Papua New Guinea. My country shares borders with Indonesia, Australia and Solomon Islands..I usual search on Youtube any interesting documentaries. Whilst looking up youtube videos I came across a documentary on people who suffer ALS and their real treatment from www.multivitamincare.org. I for had never heard of this crippling and debilitating disease affecting a lot of Americans. It is very torturous to watch and hear patients who suffer. It is more like a combination of various diseases all put into one. Like a person who has suffered a stroke, plus someone suddenly becoming paralysed, cancer etc. but I also get to know understand that there has been successful cure to this disease from multivitamin care. It is too much for a patient to endure such as they slowly begin to pass away if the right medication is not taken .Having a positive mind is a powerful tool .My prayers goes out to ALS patients and their care givers.

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  9. My first symptoms of ALS occurred in 2014, but was diagnosed in 2016. I had severe symptoms ranging from shortness of breath, balance problems, couldn't walk without a walker or a power chair, i had difficulty swallowing and fatigue. I was given medications which helped but only for a short burst of time, then I decided to try alternative measures and began on ALS Formula treatment from Tree of Life Health clinic. It has made a tremendous difference for me (Visit w w w. treeoflifeherbalclinic .com ). I had improved walking balance, increased appetite, muscle strength, improved eyesight and others. ]

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  10. I really want to thank Dr Emu for saving my marriage. My wife really treated me badly and left home for almost 3 month this got me sick and confused. Then I told my friend about how my wife has changed towards me. Then she told me to contact Dr Emu that he will help me bring back my wife and change her back to a good woman. I never believed in all this but I gave it a try. Dr Emu casted a spell of return of love on her, and my wife came back home for forgiveness and today we are happy again. If you are going through any relationship stress or you want back your Ex or Divorce husband you can contact his whatsapp +2347012841542 or email emutemple@gmail.com website: Https://emutemple.wordpress.com/

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  12. I want to share a testimony, how i was cured from Herpes by DR AGUGU with his herbal remedy. I don't know where to start, I'm 33 years old and i was diagnoses of genital herpes diseases for 5 years. i lost all hope in life but on like any other i still searched for a cure even on the internet and i saw a comment were a lady testify how she was cured by Dr AGUGU i could not believe it at first, i contacted him, He sent me his herbal remedy i used it for 2 weeks and the Herpes virus was cured completely. I went for medical check and the result was negative from Herpes.
    For those who have the same problem, or any STD should contact Dr AGUGU via email: agugusolutionhome@gmail.com you can also call or WhatsApp +2349123794867

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