Meet Fiona!

Fiona is another strong lady who went through the mills and came out the other side. Thank you Fiona for sharing your story with us!

What type of ectopic pregnancy did you experience?

 I experienced an ectopic pregnancy in my right fallopian tube in August 2008. It was my first pregnancy and I was 8 weeks pregnant.

What were your symptoms?

 Inititally I had a small amount of brown spotting.  This went away but at around 6.5 weeks I had small bleed.  I never had any pain only a mild cramp on my left side (opposite side to the ectopic).  They told me it was a ‘silent’ ectopic.

How was your experience with the Doctor, & how were you treated?

 Unfortunately my experience wasn’t very positive.  I went to casualty after the small bleed. Although it wasn’t much I instinctively knew something was wrong.  I was scanned by a junior doctor and then a senior doctor.  They were very busy and he, very matter of factly (in a busy corridor), told me I was pregnant but they didn’t know where the pregnancy was and that was it.  I went home with my head in a spin.  I didn’t understand what that meant and I didn’t ask enough/any questions at the time.  I spent the night searching the internet for information.  The next week was tough I had to go back every 48 hours for bloods and scanning.  The HCG levels were rising but not enough so they knew there was a problem but nothing was showing on the scan so I was continually sent home and told to come back if I got a bad pain.  After a week I started to feel unwell, had a mild cramp on the left side and heavier bleeding so they told me to come back in.  They still couldn’t see anything on the scan but the doctor in casualty thought I looked very pale and wasn’t happy sending me home.  On the ward I was examined by a very rough doctor who told me to go home that there was no way it was an ectopic as I would be in a lot more pain and wouldn’t be able to stand the examination. Even if it was ectopic she said casually ‘its not going to burst right away you would be in way more pain’.  I was so emotionally drained at this stage it seemed endless and I just wanted it to be over.  The next day they called me and asked me to come back in urgently that they were not happy with the latest bloods.  This time thankfully they could see the ectopic on my right tube and I was admitted.  I felt really light headed, sweaty and generally very unwell. It was late that evening so they said a doctor would discuss it with me in the morning.  I felt so sad that night and there was just no support or kindness from anyone on the night shift. At every stage I dealt with different doctors and nurses and had to explain everything from scratch to each of them. Every time I came into the hospital for bloods/scans etc I was waiting for hours which added to the stress. That night the nurse started to ask me it all again for the file   ‘Is this is your first pregnancy?’  It was all too much and I started to cry.  She just looked at the other nurse and said ‘She’s a bit upset’ and they drew the curtains around me and left.  No one took even five minutes to talk to me about anything that was happening.  I was devastated over the loss of the baby but at that stage I just wanted the surgery as I was really scared.  The next morning before surgery I did get one fleeting stabbing pain in my right.  The doctor told me the operation would be 10 minutes if they decided not to operate or 40 minutes if they operated.  I woke up 40 minutes later.  The ectopic was large and had ruptured and I was bleeding into the stomach.  After the operation (literally right after I was half unconscious and my husband hadn’t even seen me) the doctor told me what happened and said they were surprised I wasn’t in agony and I was very lucky.  I managed to ask about future fertility and she said no problem try again whenever you want but come in for an early scan when pregnant.  That was it released with no follow up and no further discussions.  Looking back I know my case was not textbook for an ectopic so was difficult to diagnose but the experience was made a alot worse by the lack of any medical or emotional support from start to finish in the hospital.  Although medication may not have been an option for me it was never discussed.  In fact there was no discussions at any point and I never saw the same doctor to ask any question too.

Can you tell us a bit about your emotions, family support (if shared) etc.

It was a huge surprise to me how much of an emotional rollarcoaster this all was. I’m usually a very good coper, easy going and take things in my stride.  My mother had experienced several miscarriages (some late) and often talked openly about how devastated she was over these.  I could never really understand this until this happened to me.  I also had the added concern about my future fertility given the surgery. My husband, close family and friends were great and very supportive.  I didn’t tell a lot of people as found it too painful to talk about.  Looking back I wasn’t really in a good place and went through a range of emotions and perhaps even a bit of post traumatic stress.  Months later I ended up going for a couple of counselling sessions (first time in my life) which were very helpful. Although it was never going to be easy I do believe that if the hospital/doctors had talked to me a bit more that it wouldn’t have been so traumatic. 

What has happened since?

Life could not be better for me since those dark days.  In 2009, I got pregnant and thankfully I had a perfect baby girl.  I had miscarriage in 2011 which was very upsetting but I personally didn’t find it in any way as traumatic as the ectopic.  I’m very happy to say I am now typing this beside my beautiful baby boy born over 8 weeks ago.  I can’t express how lucky I feel to have these two babies. While the experience of ectopic was terrible I don’t think I would appreciate them as much if it were not for the experience.  I take nothing for granted anymore and know that these babies and life in general is very precious.

Meet Sarah!

Sarah suffered an ectopic pregnancy recently and has decided to share her story. Thank you so much from the team of Ectopic Pregnancy Ireland!

What type of ectopic pregnancy did you experience?
I experienced an ectopic pregnancy in my right fallopian tube in February 2012. I was 10 weeks pregnant and this was my first pregnancy.

What were your symptoms? 
The only symptoms I had was an agonising pain in my lower right back and a pain that I suspected was my appendix. I didn’t want to go to the hospital because I thought I was constipated but after a glass of orange juice I vomited and my mother and Fiancé insisted I go to the hospital (luckily!!).

How was your experience with the Doctor, & how were you treated?
I had taken 4 HPT’s over two months, all were negative, I even had a negative result with my GP a week before I went into hospital. So when I was told in the hospital that I was pregnant I was in shock. I was in so much pain that I could not register it. I was transferred to Drogheda hospital by ambulance, when I got to the hospital I had lots of people around me. The gynaecologist came down and examined me and told me the likelihood of it being an ectopic pregnancy was high. It was my gut feeling that it was and in my heart I knew it was too, I went for a scan and it was confirmed. I went for the operation to have the pregnancy removed, when I came around I was panicking about my fallopian tube, and I kept asking about it. When I eventually came around I was told that my fallopian tube was removed but that the operation was successful, I had keyhole surgery but my left tube was good and my ovaries looked healthy.
My experience with the doctors and nurses was great. One of the nurses even took the time out to sit with me and my fiancé to talk to us about what had happened, explaining both the procedure and the ectopic pregnancy. They all enforced that it was a definite pregnancy and that I needed to accept that and mourn it and try and move on from it.

Can you tell us a bit about your emotions, Family support (if shared) etc..
When it comes to support, I didn’t tell a lot of people but looking back I wish I did. Trying to act normal and hide my tears when I see a new baby or hiding my pain when someone tells me they are pregnant is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. A lot of people seem to be avoiding me probably because they are afraid of upsetting me. I feel like I can’t talk to a lot of people my mam and my fiancé excluded. I am very fragile at the moment and hate that everyone is just moving on and ignoring/avoiding me because they don’t want to upset me. Sometimes talking about it and having a good cry is what you need.
Although the pregnancy tests where coming back negative, I knew deep down I was pregnant, I had a lot of pregnancy symptoms. We were not trying for a baby or in a great position to have one but with each negative we got we were a little devastated, as the baby would have been loved and wanted. Since the loss of the baby, I have not really pulled myself together properly. I want to just have a magic wand to make it all better but I have to keep reminding myself it’s only been 6 weeks since the loss. I think about my little baby first thing every morning and last thing at night. I keep thinking about how far along I should be and why did this happen to us? I also can’t get over the sense that a part of me is missing.

What has happened since your ectopic pregnancy?
I have just completed my 6 weeks appointment in the hospital. The doctor told me that I was doing great and that I could start trying to get pregnant straight away if I wanted to. He just advised me to arrange a scan if and when I am pregnant again. He said that it was really important that I go in as soon as I find out to ensure that the pregnancy is in the correct place. I had been experiencing pains in my back and stomach and I was told not to worry about these as it can take up to three months for everything to go back to normal. We are not ready to start trying for another baby yet, but we are hopeful for the future.

Meet Susanne!

It is a great pleasure to dedicate this blog post to Susanne. She is one of the strongest and most determined persons I have met. She is also part of our team and I have tears of joy in my eyes that it's finally come the time to post her happy ending story.

What type of Ectopic Pregnancy did you experience?
My first 2 ectopic pregnancies were in my fallopian tubes, both of which were subsequently removed – I had keyhole surgery for both. Then following our first IVF attempt, the embryo migrated to the stump of my right tube. This was treated with methotrexate, and I later had the remainder of my tubes clipped back to reduce the risk of this happening again.

What were your symptoms?
On the first ectopic pregnancy I had very typical symptoms  - bleeding/spotting on and off, bad pain, shooting pains down my back. On the second one I had no symptoms at all, although looking back, somewhere in my mind there was a niggling feeling something wasn’t right, despite the lack of symptoms. On the third ectopic, the symptoms were similar to the one on the first one.

How was your experience with the doctors and how were you treated?
I have to say, I could not fault the care and attention I received one bit – the doctor and nurse in the Early Pregnancy Unit were fantastic on all three occasions . Despite a packed waiting room I never felt I was rushed out the door, they took their time to let the news sink in, they gave us plenty of information and were generally amazing. The doctors and nurses on the ward were equally great, although one of the nurses at one stage told me to “stop crying, 20 years ago you would have been dead”.  In the IVF clinic, initially the possibility of another ectopic was dismissed, despite the obvious symptoms (I guess it was just so unlikely), which was frustrating, as my gut instinct told me it was ectopic. But overall, I was mostly treated with compassion and respect.

Can you tell us a bit about your emotions, family support etc. ?
The first ectopic I put down as “one of those things”, so I really didn’t dwell on it very much. Of course I was upset, but I was desperate to get pregnant again, so that’s what I focussed on. When I got pregnant again a year later and was diagnosed with another ectopic, it was a huge blow. I couldn’t believe that I was never going to be able to have children naturally – I was in my late 20s and never thought I’d ever be a candidate for IVF.  But when I got involved with the charity, it really kept me going. Meeting others who had been through the same was such a help, and I put a lot of energy into helping set the charity up. I wanted to make sense of what happened to me, and this way something good was going to come from it all.
Nearly a year and a half after the second ectopic we started the IVF journey, and when that ended in ectopic number three, we were just thinking  “What the hell? How can this happen AGAIN”. But in the end, you just have to get on with it. All the way through, I had good days and bad days, and if I had a bad day, well, that was ok too. I suppose I’m very self aware, and I tend to be able to react to what I need. If I needed to avoid that person who got pregnant after a month of trying, that’s what I did. If I couldn’t face yet another Christening/ kids birthday party, then I simply didn’t go. As we were very open about our journey, friends and family were great and understood. I’m a talker, I need to talk about things, and family and friends allowed me to do so.

What’s happened since your ectopic pregnancy?
Six months after the IVF ectopic we tried again, but the cycle failed. After a bit of a break, cycle number 3 in the summer of 2011 was successful and the result is now 6 weeks and asleep next to me. Our baby girl was born in March and we are over the moon. We’ve been overwhelmed with good wishes and presents. The charity work is and always will be a big part of my life. I have shared my story in newspaper articles, on the local radio and we will also be featured in the RTE documentary “Births of the Nation” on the 30th April 2012. I never thought we’d have to go through as much heartbreak as we did before we would have our baby, but if our story can give even one person hope, then I know something good has come from it all. What happened made me a stronger person, and even though I will never forget the 3 babies we lost, when I look at our perfect little baby girl, all the pain is forgotten.

Meet Ember!

We have a new story! I was almost loosing hope to keep this project going, but thanks to Ember we have our first entry of 2012 and I have the feeling we will have a few more...
Thank you Ember for writing to us and it's another happy ending!

What type of ectopic pregnancy did you experience?
My first pregnancy was diagnosed as ectopic in my right fallopian tube in 2010.

What were your symptoms?
I had no symptoms. I had a routine ultrasound scan at 5 weeks and 5 days to confirm the pregnancy and an ectopic was diagnosed from the scan.

How was your experience with the Doctors, & How were you treated?
I was initially treated with methotrexate. Blood tests after 3 days showed my HCG levels were still rising and I was given another methotrexate injection. More blood tests three days later showed HCG levels still rising and an ultrasound scan showed that the embryo had grown and there was now a heartbeat. I was brought straight to surgery and had a laparoscopy to remove the right tube. I was told afterwards that the left tube looked healthy. All the doctors and nurses were very kind and understanding and couldn't have been nicer to me. I did feel that I wasn't given enough information about future fertility. I was told to wait 6 months before trying to conceive again and that I should try for 1 year before seeing a doctor. Waiting a possible 18 months before having definitive answers about my fertility was quite upsetting for me.

Can you tell us a bit about your emotions, family support (if shared) etc.
I was completely devastated after the ectopic. I had just gotten married and found out I was pregnant on my honeymoon. I still can't enjoy looking at the pictures because I was pregnant in them. I didn't tell anyone outside of my immediate family and my boss in work. I don't live near my family and found they provided no support for me, no phone calls or visits to see how I was. They treated it like I had my appendix removed, not a baby and half of my future fertility. I was very depressed at the time and didn't confront them on this issue which I regret as I feel it permanently damaged my relationship with them. In hindsight, I think it would have been better to tell people because it was very difficult to act happy and carefree around my work colleagues and friends. It would have been much easier to cope if I had spoken with friends about what happened and my concerns about future pregnancies.

What’s happened since your ectopic pregnancy?
The doctors in the hospital advised me to wait 6 months before trying to get pregnant again. I discussed it with my own gynaecologist and she assured me there was no reason to wait longer than 3/4 months. Four months after the ectopic I got pregnant in my first month trying to conceive. The early weeks of the pregnancy were especially difficult. I had phantom pains in my right side and couldn't relax until I got the pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound at 5 weeks. My beautiful little baby boy was born earlier this year.

Another article!

This article was published yesterday on a local newspaper. We are looking forward to feature Francesca on our blog too!

Go Susanne, Go!

She is one of our own!

Published on the Irish Independent on the 15th of February 2012

Plans for 2012

Happy New Year to you all! We hope Christmas brought joy and peace.

A new year has started, days are getting longer and brighter and there is a new sense of hope, isn't there?

We are continuing our project of collecting stories and we are also very interested in the male perspective which is not taken much into account. So please email us if you want to participate and share your experience.

Our network here in Ireland is broadening and we are delighted when we can reach out to women going through EP. Recently, one of the local maternity hospitals has contacted us to see if we can meet with the councillor who offers supports when someone is admitted with an EP. This is a big step and we hope many more will be taken to raise awareness. Some more press releases are in the pipeline too!

Hopefully it won't be too long till our next post!